Men need divorce advice too!
If you’re a man going though a divorce or break-up, you need divorce advice to make sure that you know your rights and responsibilities. The biggest fear for most men going through divorce is that they won’t see their kids or their ex-partner will take them to the ‘cleaners”.
If your relationship has ended with divorce, don’t sit on your hands, get divorce advice as soon as possible. Understandably you may be in shock, upset or ready to move forward in your life, wherever you find yourself, make the time and priority to get divorce advice for men.
Are you a hands on dad ?
You don’t need social science to tell you that your involvement in your children’s life is important and has positive and long lasting effects on your children. This is something that most dads know and why they want to continue their involvement long -after their divorce or break-up.
Darren was really worried that the law would be against him and that Sara would have total control of the parenting arrangements. Darren wanted to be an involved dad, but as he worked full-time he wanted to be able to spend time with the children as much as possible.
Child Custody Laws in Australia recognise that children benefit from interactive, close and regular contact with both their parents and extended families. Children who have happy and healthy relationships with their fathers have:
- Higher levels of cognitive and social excellence
- Positive emotional regulation
- Positive self-esteem
- post interaction with siblings and peers
- higher achievement at school
Below are 3 divorce advice and tips for men going through child custody
If you are a father going through child custody, then the following 5 tips will help you:
Tip No. 1
Trust that the relationship you have built with your children over the years will not be forgotten because of the current separation or divorce. For fathers who have very young babies, this is understandably difficult, as they have not had time to bond or develop a relationship with the child. But that is no reason to rush or push to develop a relationship with your child. It is important to remember that the relationship will form when the child is developmentally ready- just be there, available and ready to enhance the relationship.
Tip No. 2
When you do spend time with the children make it about them, don’t involve the children in the conflict between you and their mother. Children can’t cope with this and they should not have to. Children should be safe, secure and have fun and be taken care of whilst with you.
Tip No. 3
Be the best role model to your children that you can be. Don’t underestimate how important your influence and presence is in your children’s lives. To become a better and grow from your divorce or break-up, consider taking a divorce course to help you heal and find new ways of communicating and relating to your ex-partner.
Money , Divorce and Men
If you are worried about money and how you will pay your bills, rent or the children’s school fees, its very important to discuss your concerns with trusted professionals. There are always solutions, both in the short-term and long-term.
Make getting divorce advice your priority and consider what you want to know and achieve from your first meeting with your lawyer. Being prepared and considered will make the meeting meaningful for you.
Pamela Cominos is the Principal of Cominos Family Lawyers. She is passionate about protecting children from conflict and is a strong advocate for children to have a meaningful relationship with their fathers and mothers.