Why a Healthy Divorce is better than a Toxic Marriage

 If you are considering divorce and you have children, you will know that it is not an easy decision to make. You will know that for children their will be a period of grief, change and uncertainty.

A recent study from the United Kingdom which observed and interviewed 15,000 children from divorced families, found that Divorce is not the problem for children, who will eventually adjust and accept the situation. The damage for children is pre-separation and post-separation conflict.

As a Divorce Lawyer and an Independent Children’s Lawyer I have seen first- hand the deleterious effects of conflict on children, especially when children are made pawns and caught in the middle of bitter custody battles. However, there is a better way to divorce, I call it a “healthy divorce”, this where separating parents realise that their toxic marriage is damaging their children. These parents know that staying married for the sake of the children simply does not work, because it exposes children to regular disharmony, upset and stress due to their own unhappiness.

Even if you believe that your children don’t hear or see the arguments between you, it is difficult to be emotionally or even physically available for children when you are in a state of permanent stress and distress. Sadly in this environment there is no room to nurture and properly care for your children.  Even if your children don’t say anything, they will definitely know that things are not right between their parents. They will sense the awkward silences of the passive aggressive behaviours.

Divorce when done well and where a healthy approach is adopted has enormous benefits for children.

5 reasons why a Healthy Divorce is better than a  Toxic Marriage

1. Children will have 2 homes where there is no conflict. In each home children will be free to be themselves and not have to endure endless bickering or passive aggressive behaviours.

2.   Parents will be in better position to make themselves emotionally available for their children because happier parents make better parents.

3. Children learn that divorce is not a failure, but rather an opportunity to grow, to compromise and to reach agreements, especially if children can see their parents working together.

4. Children get to see that when something is not working, is toxic and is wreaking havoc on one self or those around, then to choose happiness and health over toxic marriage or relationships is a powerful message we can give.

5. You get the opportunity to lead your family and show them that personal happiness is necessary, so that those you love and care for , also have the freedom and space to find their happiness and joy. There is nothing selfish about personal happiness, without it we cannot function at our best.

   For more information on how to achieve a Healthy Divorce, contact us on 02 8999 1800 or email info@cominoslawyers.com.a